Waves
by Alphavolcano
Summary: He left leaving him alone. He left saying that he'll return. He misses him. But does he miss him as much as he does? -Xemsai- Chapters - AU
1. Chapter 1

Waves. Delicate, created by the wind.

Wind. Light, untouchable, was moving his hair.

Hair. His, they've always been particular: blue like the sky, soft like silk.

Silk. Like the sheets that were covering him moments ago, when he was still in the safe embrace of the sleep and the night .

Night. A lot of them passed by, since the day his love went away with that person. With him and his eyes colored like the sunset.

Sunset. He adored watching it with him. Cuddled near the one he had always loved, close in his embrace, strong but delicate.

Delicate. Just like his way to kiss. Confident, but tender and caring at the same time. How much he missed it.

He thought about him every day, every night, before closing his eyes and dreaming that he was still next to him, holding him close, saying that he will never leave him.

And yet, he was gone. Saix knew that he did it just because he was forced by the injustice of those lands.

They have accused him of treason against the land's lord. Traitor, his Xemnas. No, never, not even in a nightmare, they had framed him for sure. They did it because the nobles saw him as a danger, a possible successor of the supremacy in that place.

He wanted to protect him, but being only a slave, his words counted as a drop of water in the middle of the ocean, like a tear in the rain.

The boy trusted his master, he knew he would have come back to him, to his loyal servant. He had promised it. The day he left him to save himself from the cruel laws of the world.

That moment was sculpted in his memory, he won't easily forgot about it, since it was that promise that made him go on day by day, that kept alive the flame of his hope, fed by his immortal love too.

-Flashback-

The rain's beating persistently, beating time with his perfect strokes, created by the wind.

The sea is stormy. The waves are crashing heavily on the coast, taking away some parts of it, curling violently their rage against the seashore.

Saix is comfortably lying near Xemnas, who's petting slowly his blue hair, obtaining happy purrs by the younger man.

It could look like an happy scene, but in the reality, it isn't. The silver-haired man's face doesn't show signs of happiness, on the contrary, his frown and his sad look prove that he's not facing a good period.

"Saix…Do you….Really love me…?" the master's voice isn't secure and firm as it usually is, it's slightly trembling and veiled by sadness.

"But sir, what kind of questions are this? Of course I love you….And I couldn't love you more…" the servant's a little confused by the other's words, but he sits anyway next to him and he gives him a kiss on the cheek, rubbing himself slightly against the shoulder of the man, that couldn't help but smile at the tenderness showed toward him.

However, he darkens immediately and, sighing, he looks the youngster with gloomy eyes: "If you really care about me… You'll accept the situation….", this time the slave's even more confused, he can't understand what his lover's talking about, but he knows for sure that it isn't something pleasant.

"Sir….I don't get it…What are you talking about…." "I have to go away Saix. Without you. Alone."

Thunder grumbles. The storm's unleashing all his rage on the land. The sky illuminates and the sea raises.

Xemnas' words had the same effect on the boy's heart.

Leaving. Without him. Far away. Maybe not even returning.

"But…How…? You don't….Why…? Maybe I….Did I…Did something wrong…? I didn't…Satisfy you, I'm not…Good enough…? Why?" words can't come out from his throat anymore. They're hold in the tight grip of the sob's invisible hand that is closing around his neck. Even if he feels stupid, he can't hold back the tears, that are making their way, slowly, but relentlessly, in his yellow eyes.

Without even having time to answer, the bigger man finds himself lying on the bed, pushed by the boy that is holding him so tight that it hurts.

"Now you're the one that doesn't know what is saying….I would never dare to leave you alone, you know…. You've always followed me loyally and faithfully, it's not because of you that I'm leaving this place…" now it's hard even for him to stay collected: he feels guilty, he would never want to make his precious servant suffer, but the situation's complicated "You know I've never been good in the higher caste's eyes …And with the recent attack against the duke, I'm the first to be suspected…I have to abandon this place until everything calms down…Believe me, I suffer as much as you…"

Saix doesn't answer. He doesn't think he's able to. He doesn't know what to say. A part of him doesn't want to let Xemnas go, but another insists saying that this is the right thing to do.

And that's exactly what he does. Slowly, his arms ease off and they lose grip on his master's hips, that manages to put himself in a more comfortable position and that stares with sad eyes at his tender lover.

"Believe me, please. I will come back. Before you can even imagine. I don't think I can stay away from you for too much time", with a simple kiss in the middle of the scar that decorates his servant's face, the lord signed his departure. Without saying anything else, without doing anything else. Not wanting to feel even worse, not wanting to see the other's shattered gaze while he crosses the doorstep of what once was his home.

That day, the storm didn't take away only part of the cliff with his anger. It took away even part of the boy's heart.

-End flashback-

It passed much more time than Saix could count. Season passed. Years flied. Months ran away. Weeks fled. Day slipped away. Hours disappeared. Minutes gone. Seconds lost.

Life dragged itself, like a weight on the shoulders.


	2. Chapter 2

Earth. He has seen far too much of it during all the time he spent in the desert.

Desert. Just like his heart. He think he's not capable of feeling sensations anymore.

Sensations. Just like the ones he felt in his house near the sea.

Sea. He missed it, he would've liked to see it again: hear again the waves that slid on the coast and losing himself in his magnificent blue.

Blue. Like someone's hair, like the hair of the one he used to hold more dear that his own life, like the hair of someone he had betrayed.

Betrayal. More than one he felt alone, more than once he was weak, more than once he submitted to the will of his body.

Body. He remembers his lover's one, he had seen too many in these years, he had touched too many of them, he had possessed too many of them.

Life's been hard for him since he left his homeland, his sea, his sky, his memories.

Everything that happened around him had no sense in his eyes. Not even the wind that usually caressed his skin and made him feel alive had effect on him.

Silence was his only companion: it accompanied him day by day, lived with him, was part of him.

He felt he lacked something. That thing that made him feel alive, that made him wish that the day  
would come only to lose himself in his yellow eyes.

Maybe, it was time to go back. Maybe, he should stop running away.

Then why he's not leaving? Why he didn't return in Saix's arms? Why did he abandon him?

His dear servant would never do it. He would return as soon as he has the chance.

Xemnas knew it since the first time he had seen him. He knew he was the right person, he knew he would've followed him everywhere, he knew he would've love him.

-Flashback-

People talking, people negotiating, people whining, people laughing.

Slaves praying, slaves begging for forgiveness, slaves screaming, slaves crying.

He never liked the slave's market. But, being a noble, he was forced to have someone serving him.

Some days ago he had heard a man whining about the fact that his most recent purchase was "defective". He didn't understood what he meant by that, so, he asked to show him.

That's why he was heading toward one of the most inhuman places in the world. The jails.

They lead him in from of one of the most hidden and shadowy cages. The guards seem to be nervous. They said the servant was "defective". What did they mean?

A very barbarian-looking man opens the door and makes him enter.

In Xemnas' opinion, there isn't enough space to survive in that place. Dark, narrow. Only contact with the outside being a small crack from which a faint light beam enters.

"He caught this one near the forest. Attending to someone's opinion he must be born in the exile lands, Where all the community rubbish is… Wait, I'll make him get up" while the brutes talks, he delivers a kick to what looked like a some kind of sack, but that turns out to be a boy.

Young, pale and visibly underfed. First thing that strikes the lord are the hair. Blue, shoulder length or even more. And his eyes. Yellow, bright.

The silver haired man was puzzled "Why… Should he be…"Defec-?", but he can't finish the sentence.

With a jump the boy's on him, the chains too long to block him.

Sharp teeth plunging in his arm, claws digging in his shoulder and hand.

He feels a sharp pain, while the blood starts leaking from the newly opened wounds.

Only in that moment he notices something he missed before. A scar. On the slave's face there's a X shaped scar, whose tips almost reach the boy's face's angles. How did he get that? Fighting?  
Defending his freedom?

The jailer has raised the whip, probably ready to strike, but the noble stops him "Don't move! Don't touch him!… Wait just a moment, I think I know what to do… And violence isn't the better solution". His gaze falls again on the young man. Slowly, using his free hand, Xemnas starts petting the blue head of hair.

A pair of yellow eyes swiftly look in his sunset ones. The world's silent for a moment.

Topaz irises become softer, ivory teeth lose the grip just like the claws. A confused expression's painted on the boy's face. Probably no one ever showed tenderness toward him.

"Tell me…. What's your name….?" The deep voice interrupts the silence, but the servant doesn't open his mouth, so the man insists, stretching out his hand "Don't worry, I won't hurt you, you can trust me…".

Confusion still present in the blue haired boy, that answers anyway, with weak voice "…..Saix…", lowering his gaze, suddenly shy.

Saix. Particular name, obviously outlander. Yes, he was perfect for him.

"Saix…What a wonderful name."

-End flashback-

He feels a strong pang in his heart, when those memories cloud his mind. Like a lock closing around the pulsating, trying to take away its life.

He takes a decision he should've taken a lot of time before .

He would return. He would fight with his past. He would face his guilt-feelings.

He would come back to his sea, to his Moon.


	3. Chapter 3

Sun. It was setting in that very moment, blending everything with the colour orange.

Orange. Just like the tree's leaves, who are too tired to resist , so they let themselves go with the cold embrace of the wind that drags them far away.

Away. A word that can really hurt a person that lost everything because of that word's meaning.

Meaning. Some things doesn't have one. His life, for example, lost it a lot of time ago. Now everything seemed empty.

Empty. Just like their home, now that Saix spent the majority of his time outside watching the sea.

Sea. Calm. Furious. Serene. Stormy. It has always reflected his nature: whether he was joyful, whether he lost all of his hope.

Hope. His had recently died. By then he couldn't endure anymore the solitude and the fright of being alone.

The town's citiziens had already writed his master off time ago, he had resisted until that moment clinging to the trust he had in the other man.

But after many years of waiting, he gave up. Gave up to the circumstances, give up to the people's scorn that considered him insane, a pathetic being that had nothing to live for.

Foolishly, at the end, he had agreed with them.

That's why he was in front of the sea. It had represented his whole life. Now it would represente his end.

He was a slave. Nobody would've remembered him, because he had never existed.

He was lonely. Nobody would've cried for him, because he had no friends.

He felt the waves' splashes wtting his face, the rollers were unusually high despite the lack of wind.  
He closed his eyes. Not even a light breeze, not even a breath of air blowing.

His heart was not ready. Something inside told him that the end wasn't already there, the hope shouldn't fade that way. But his mind had clouded all his sensations, someone else's malevolenze had darsene the emotions.

"If I'm allowed to ask, boy, what are you doing?" a vaguely familiar voice, that tasted like memories.

Saix didn't even turn around, his gaze still lost in the blue "It's strange that someone gets intrested in me….I'm just a fool that waited for his love to return from a far away place, but that now has lost his hope. The sea is going to welcome me in his ice embrace" maybe he was talking too low, maybe the crying was still gripping his neck.

"Throwing your life to the sea? It doesn't look like a wise choice… Don't you think your master would be sad in knowing that you wereswallowed up by the sea you both loved?" the same voice, the same tone. Voice too wise to be unknown.

And there it is the wind blowing again. Wind of freshness, wind of discovery. The slave was urged to turn around by that very breezet that was whipering him something.

_"Some times, not even the time is able to erase the feelings. Love doesn't age, it grows with the inexorable flow of the moments. Love eternally lives in the lovers' hearts"_

It's impossibile to be wrong. Sunset colour eyes. Dreamed for years. Silver hair. Remembered for all the time. Sincere smile. Missed too much.

Yellow watery eyes. Burned in his memory. Face wetted by the salty water of the sea and of the tears. He couldn't forget it. Innocent smile. Missed too much.

A wave feel down on the rocks, throwing in air millions of drops that transformed into light sparkles that shone at the contact with the sun light.

Xemnas strugge to stay on his feet after the young man practically threw himself in his arms, holding him in a tight grip while sobbing trying to say something that couldn't come out of his mouth.

The tan man realised he was crying too. A pair of lonely tears where tracing their path on his cheeks: tears of joy that wanted to show themselves to the world.

"Saix….You have no idea… I did… Horrible things while I was away… Will you ever forgive me..?" for the first time, his voice was broken: he knew he was a traitor, an unfaithful person and he was afraid that the other one would never want to see him again.

"I will… Never… Forgive you… But not for what you did while you were away…." The servant's light eyes stared into his lord's orange ones "But for loving me for all this time… Without giving me the chance to demonstrate how much I loved you too. For making me wait so long… Before I could repeat "I love you" once again".

Resistance was useless. Something inside his head was hammering insinstently and it stopped only when the man kissed his lover, as if to say that he was sorry for making him suffer and a sto promise him that he would never do it again: he would never leave him alone again.

The blue haired boy's heart was beating again. More than before. Hitting in his chest, as if to say that he had always been there, waiting to return to life.

The wind was now blowing strongly, creating wave's splashes that illuminated the sky with their light flashes while the breeze was embracing the two lovers, whispering in their ears.

_"Love is just like waves. Even if it seems that it disappears, it will always come back, stronger than before"_


End file.
